KalmesConspiracy Album on Amazon

GeneKalmes.Com

We have beluga whale on special today...

Blackened or Baked with lemon

Yes you are dreaming this weirdo shit. Of course you are dreaming. You'd be crazy to think you aren't crazy. Just go back to sleep. Life will wait.

Be Prolific. Sleep when you are dead.

Geno Kalmes Music Videos

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Florida Man Writes Book

Cold Blooded Blues by Gene Kalmes
Leftover Tracks by GeneKalmes.Com

Leftover Tracks

GeneKalmes.Com

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Leftover Tracks
by GeneKalmes.Com

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These will probably find their way onto a near future compilation.... Consider these a sneak preview. Your friends will be envious. ;)

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  1. 1
    ER 12 30 24 4:30
    ER 12 30 24
    by Gene Kalmes

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    Free
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  2. 2
    Can A Man Cry For His Mom 6:58
    Can A Man Cry For His Mom

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    Free
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  3. 3
    True Love 4:26
    True Love
    by GK

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    Free
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  4. 4
    The Storm MP3 33:25
    The Storm MP3
    by Gene Kalmes

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    Free
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  5. 5
    Song for a Rainbow2024 4:18
    Song for a Rainbow2024
    by GK

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    Free
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Meet Mick McClifford, legendary new wave pop artist from the 70's and 80's. He is sleeping on Geno's couch.

Who is this guy?

Why has your government made sure you know nothing about me?

If you cannot see the dynamic they have had to bury, you don't get what the outspoken endure.

Yes they have tried to get rid of me in harsh ways... I have survived by my wits and with God as a body guard. However they have poisoned me and things aren't too bright. I likely said everything somewhere if you look.

1990's Documentary

Hey Mikey...

Nice Angel Picture but...

Can you put pants on them. The church ladies are freaking out...

Thousand Year Curse Click Here
Epic Audio Book by Gene Kalmes

Epic Audio Book

Gene Kalmes

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Epic Audio Book
by Gene Kalmes

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Recently rewritten and voices cast. Highly entertaining first with major Hollywood talents in 1985. Details are a little convoluted due to the nature of the industry.

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  1. 1
    Ned and Will Haven 1883 2:28:35
    Ned and Will Haven 1883
    by Gene Kalmes

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Why Have I Failed?

Shoes... The Shoes Don't Tolerate being Criticized...

Boy do I draw a good Thailball or what? That's my brother in law if you are wondering. My bro in law doesn't see it. Their monstrous control. Their fangs in everything. Some shoes don't even see it. Luciferianism thrives on deception. Most fail to protect our freedom. Evil has to be confronted. Carefully.

Sweet Charity

We are tech support... We can create knots in anything...

Mick McClifford

Mick Messing With Geno's Stuff

From this angle sure...

sure a ball looks like a pancake from directly overhead...

Let's ask sock puppet... he has a degree in sciency stuff...

Sock Puppet Rejects Geno's Conspiracy theories...

Meet Sock Puppet

He is Missing

Last seen at the laundromat...

Sock Puppet Is worried about geno

All this free stuff is nice...

Subtly speaking, how about a donation to the starving/striving artist?

Helping me financially is somewhere in the Bible.

God Helps Those Who Help Geno

You mean this isn't AA?

Is that woman bending over the pool table to take a shot or is that a lunar eclipse?

Is that woman going to strike me with that pool stick?

Eve, I have been thinking...

Maybe we should think about seeing other people...

Well I want to and I want you to wear a chastity belt.

Where To?

KalmesConspiracy.Com
GeneKalmes.Com
Follow The Lunatic...

It is in fact a conspiracy

If 500 thousand people want to fool the other 6 billion what do you think the secret societies keep hush hush?

How do we control all the good stuff while you work your butt off and pay us taxes. Cha-ching Slave. 

Click the pic

I Hang Out With These Guys...

They Tell Me To Do Strange Things

Help...

Alternative Universe by Gene Kalmes

Alternative Universe

Gene Kalmes

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Alternative Universe
by Gene Kalmes

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Sometimes I end up with variations on my music. Alternative Universe wants you to to have these for your secret Kalmes collection. The other kids will be soooo jealous. You will in fact be known for your cool collection. Read more

Sometimes I end up with variations on my music. Alternative Universe wants you to to have these for your secret Kalmes collection. The other kids will be soooo jealous. You will in fact be known for your cool collection. Call it a cadence conspiracy if you like but the hard K sound is an awesome consonant. I really need some sleep. Okay, there are some killer alternates here that deserve some credit.

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  1. 1
    echo6 6:14
    echo6

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  2. 2
    Con Artist and Thief (2) 3:28
    Con Artist and Thief (2)
    by GK

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  3. 3
    666Devil2 5:10
    666Devil2

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  4. 4
    all my loving gene kalmes 5:11
    all my loving gene kalmes

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  5. 5
    You got so much anger... 4:35
    You got so much anger...
    by GK

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  6. 6
    xxxmassss 4:28
    xxxmassss

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  7. 7
    New World 24 4:56
    New World 24

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  8. 8
    Marry Me 2:49
    Marry Me
    by The Space Heaters

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  9. 9
    The Mystery Of Emily 2:52
    The Mystery Of Emily

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  10. 10
    Let it go JFK mix 3:15
    Let it go JFK mix

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  11. 11
    free 6:48
    free
    by Gene Kalmes

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  12. 12
    sighs2006 (2) 4:50
    sighs2006 (2)

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  13. 13
    Family... 4:52
    Family...

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  14. 14
    I Made Her My God 4:15
    I Made Her My God

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  15. 15
    Let the River Flow by Gene Kalmes 5:53
    Let the River Flow by Gene Kalmes

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  16. 16
    Killing is Wrong When Mercy is Gone... 8:53
    Killing is Wrong When Mercy is Gone...

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Be More Careful Geno...

What with things that go fast...

It was May 6 1975 when an Amtrak almost tore off my arm and leg. I was 14. I'm 23 in this pic and clowning about my accident. Trains are something one should avoid unless you have a seat inside.

Soooo Many Stories...

Talk Slower

Grunt Less

You might have a chance...