GeneKalmes.Com

We have beluga whale on special today...

Blackened or Baked with lemon

Yes you are dreaming this weirdo shit. Of course you are dreaming. You'd be crazy to think you aren't crazy. Just go back to sleep. Life will wait.

Be Prolific. Sleep when you are dead.

Florida Man Writes Book

Leftover Tracks

GeneKalmes.Com

These will probably find their way onto a near future compilation.... Consider these a sneak preview. Your friends will be envious. ;)

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Meet Mick McClifford, legendary new wave pop artist from the 70's and 80's. He is sleeping on Geno's couch.

Hey Mikey...

Nice Angel Picture but...

Can you put pants on them. The church ladies are freaking out...

Epic Audio Book

Gene Kalmes

Recently rewritten and voices cast. Highly entertaining first with major Hollywood talents in 1985. Details are a little convoluted due to the nature of the industry.

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We are tech support... We can create knots in anything...

Mick McClifford

From this angle sure...

sure a ball looks like a pancake from directly overhead...

Let's ask sock puppet... he has a degree in sciency stuff...

Meet Sock Puppet

He is Missing

Last seen at the laundromat...

All this free stuff is nice...

Subtly speaking, how about a coffee?

Helping me financially is somewhere in the Bible.

Eve, I have been thinking...

Maybe we should think about seeing other people...

Well I want to anyway... and I want you to wear a chastity belt.

Alternative Universe

Gene Kalmes

Sometimes I end up with variations on my music. Alternative Universe wants you to to have these for your secret Kalmes collection. The other kids will be soooo jealous. You will in fact be known for your cool collection. Read more

Sometimes I end up with variations on my music. Alternative Universe wants you to to have these for your secret Kalmes collection. The other kids will be soooo jealous. You will in fact be known for your cool collection. Call it a cadence conspiracy if you like but the hard K sound is an awesome consonant. I really need some sleep. Okay, there are some killer alternates here that deserve some credit.

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